NOT MY KIND OF TOWN

If you perceive of Los Angeles as the kind of place populated with skanky softcore reality whores, mediocre rock poseurs, grandpa-aged metal washouts and publicity craving douchebags who will do anything to stay famous, the new Los Angeles Dodgers billboard campaign will warm your heart.

The latest round of the team’s “This Is My Town” campaign features the likenesses of Nikki Sixx, Kim Kardashian, Nickleback and Bret Michaels, creeping me out all over the city. What these folks have to do with baseball is beyond me. Whereas it might have been cool to center an ad campaign around regular folks, or at least people in which the city could be proud, the Dodgers instead have chosen to spotlight people who, frankly, give the town a bad name. I mean, when I see these billboards, I think of everything that’s awful about L.A., namely, its tendency to prop up and celebrate talentless fame whores.

These billboards scream: “FUCK YEAH! MY TOWN IS SO MEDIOCRE, DUDE, AND I LUV IT.” Damn, just when I was starting to like the Dodgers again. I’d even become a Manny Ramirez apologist. I should have known better than to have doubts about the Angels. Of course, Orange County is its own cesspool of evilness, but I never sense that the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim embody any of that (well, except for that stupid name change).

So, yeah, this is still my town. Born and raised, can’t ever escape. But it sure as hell isn’t my team.