CHECK IT OUT

Hey, y'all. Click on the television thingy above to see samples of my ouvre as a writer/producer for the boob tube. Only took two years, but, you know, we move at a languid pace here at Valley Boy Ranch.

MY BOY

In the interest of equal time, I want to acknowledge that my son, Emmett, turned 6 recently, and was feted at a birthday blowout at the  Remo Drum Center in North Hollywood. You put 40 kids in a giant room with percussive instruments and two hours just fly by. Chucky Cheese can go to hell.

On Saturday, Emmett played his weekly scheduled T-ball game at Sherman Oaks Little League. It was hot. Very hot. Probably more than 100 degrees here in the San Fernando Valley.  The parents and grandparents sitting in the shaded benches were schvitzing big time. Many were pleading for the coaches to call the game after 2 innings (games usually run 3 innings). The kids got through the game without heat-related kvetching, though. Emmett was fixated on hitting the snack bar when it was over, but he didn't complain about the heat. Their attention wavered (they're 6 years old, after all), but that happens in all temperatures.

 

I explained to some of the parents (while I stood in the sun, filling in as a base coach) that during my own baseball playing days -- as a member of the 1975 Minor Braves at Sepulveda Little League -- I once played catcher for all six innings of a 30-3 loss in 90+ degree heat. And those were the days when smog simply engulfed the Valley on hot days. A couple hours outside and you could taste the smog in your throat with every deep breath.  By contrast, I played a doubleheader with my Synagogue Softball team out in Chatsworth a day later. Midway through the second game, our opposition waved the white towel -- one of their players has a heart condition and began to feel dizzy.  Ah, youth. What I love most about the team is that, at 43, I'm one of our team's younger players. But the old guys with whom I play compete with heart and passion and it's always fun, in spite of the mounting losses. It'd be nice to win now and again, though. We're like the Bad News Bears of Synagogue Softball's C-division.