THINGS I DO WHEN I'M NOT STRESSING ABOUT FINDING A JOB

I reviewed a book called Comedy At the Edge in today's Los Angeles Times. Though a bit overreaching, it's still an entertaining read for everyone who memorized George Carlin's Seven Words You Can't Say on Television in 5th grade.

DEATH ALERT

A few weeks back, I was channel surfing on behalf of my children (will it be Drake and Josh, Super Robot Monkey Team or Secret Squirrel?) It's always a bit of a drama when you have a five-year-old boy and two-year-old girl. Anyway, I was bouncing between Playhouse Disney, Boomerang and Cartoon Network when I got sucked into a Life Alert commercial. As everyone knows, life alert is kind of like Lojack for people who think they're dying ("I've fallen and I can't get up!!!!"). Press the little button around you neck (that is, if you're not having a stroke and your arms haven't become paralyzed) and the paramedics come to save the day.

Anywho, I was enjoying the testimonials of the geezers whose lives have been saved by this device -- mazel tov to them, right? All of a sudden, for just a flash I hear and see a soundbite from Gene Friedman -- the college adviser at James Monroe High School in Sepulveda (now North Hills), California, when I attended that fine institution of lower learning back in the fabulous 1980s. Now, I was never a fan of "Mean Gene." He had his cult of brainiac students -- he taught advanced placement history, I believe. He didn't like me, though, because, if I can correctly recall, he was pissed that I authorized a positive story in the school paper (I was editor of the Monroe Doctrine -- yeah, I know, pretty clever) about an outgoing principal whom he hated. To me, he was just a petty, old, bitter prick who didn't do what he wanted with his life.

Flash ahead 25 years: The guy's plugging Life Alert. Man, I thought he was old back in the day. So I mentioned this Friedman sighting when I had dinner and drinks with my old high school and college pal, David Koistinen. David actually liked the old coot. He was well aware of the Life Alert ad and thought it ironic that the ads were still running, since Friedman died in 2006.

Sorry, Gene.

AM I A DIVA?

For much of my career, I worked as a journalist. I worked fairly steadily with only a few interludes in which I had to hustle for free-lance gigs. Five years ago, I got sidetracked into television. I enjoy producing and writing shows, particularly if they fall into the documentary realm, as opposed to reality. Unfortunately, over the past few years I've been employed in fits and starts, as TV gigs typically last three months, followed by a period of hustling and waiting for the phone to ring.

Now that I'm a responsible adult with a mortgage and private school hanging over my head, I need something steady. So I've been exploring positions sort of back in the world of publishing. I've been interviewing mainly for internet jobs that involve the skills I've developed both as a journalist and as a television producer.

Funny, though. In the old days, I don't remember having to jump through the sorts of hoops that I'm being asked to jump for these new media companies. Even when I first got into television and was asked to write a sample script I was compensated for my time. But here are some examples of things I've been asked to do -- gratis -- before I'd be considered for some positions.

Company A:

1. What changes would you make to the content on the existing blog, if any?
2. Assuming you can create features for the homepage, as well as articles to live within the news section, what would an example of a proposed bi-weekly editorial calendar look like (3 months worth)? Please include
titles and descriptions for your proposed features.
3. Please write three blog entries that you think would be relevant to the audience, in the voice that you think would be most appropriate for/appealing to the audience.
4. Please write 3 alternative show descriptions ...
5. Please include any other links to or attachments of writing samples that
you feel come closest to representing the voice you would look to implement
on XXXX.

Company B:

 3 Capsules (Profiling 3 places in LA, 1 restaurant, 1 nightclub/bar, 1 boutique).
II.  Things You Should Know (write-ups) (2 that are either Food, Nightlife, Art, or Shopping Related)
III.  (3) Weekly Features that will be interesting, illuminating and generate buzz.  Fill out one for Something New: Something Classic and Create 2 more sections of your own.  Creating new weekly features are a good opportunity to get creative!

In both cases, I declined to do these assignments, figuring if my experience didn't speak for itself, then perhaps they were barking up the wrong tree. I certainly am eager to land somewhere, but am I being unreasonable for not taking the time to do this work? Am I just a bitter, arrogant, out-of-touch old sod? And here's one more question: If i had done it, should I have asked for a nondisclosure from the companies to ensure that they wouldn't steal my work?

Trader Joe's management is starting to look better and better.

BOOK END

In 2004, I became determined to write a book about the history of KROQ, a radio station here in Los Angeles and its impact on the birth of "alt" culture; the story of the station would parallel my own personal growth and be something of a musical memoir. Initially I paired up with writer Kate Sullivan, who'd written an excellent oral history of the station for Los Angeles. Kate eventually dropped out, but I kept moving forward with the project, whose working title was The Sound Salvation. I interviewed lots of interesting folks who'd been involved with the station, including the Insane Darrell Wayne, Shadoe Stevens, Flo & Eddie, Larry Woodside, Chuck Randall, Scott Mason, Raechel Donahue, Dusty Street and countless others, who were incredibly gracious with their time. Those I spoke with were totally stoked about the project. Some weren't, some were total assholes, but that's to be expected. At any rate, it remains a great story. But I'm not going to write it, at least in its original incarnation.

I had an agent who was enthusiastic and a 60-page proposal that covered all the bases. She pitched to just about every house that published pop culture books, but each came back with a no. Most who read it were more interested in the memoir-ish content than the KROQ material. So I may return to a memoir-oriented project. Or not. I think, however, I need to let KROQ go. I know I'll get around to to thanking everyone who has helped me get this far with it, but I figured I could start here.

Onward and upward.