KRISPY KREME BLUES

When I lived in New York in 1997, Krispy Kreme doughnuts were insanely popular. I guess the company had come to the city within the previous year, and everyone was still ga-ga over its arrival. Imagine that -- New Yorkers going apeshit over a doughnut shop? I think it's because they have some sort of orgasmic effect when you're really stoned.

I've had a few glazed old-fashioneds (and cinammon roles. Yum) in my day, so I tried the Krispy Kreme in Chelsea and joined in with the others who'd swallowed the Kool-Aid. When I moved back to L.A. in '98, I could knowingly talk about these sacred sugary treats, like I'd been to the mountaintop or something. Not long after I returned, Krispy Kreme finally made its way into the Southern California market. The first outlet opened in La Habra, I believe, and I seriously know people who made the trip from the Valley. The second Krispy Kreme in L.A. opened in Van Nuys, on Van Nuys Boulevard just north of Sherman Way. But when I drove by last month, there was a sign saying it'd closed. Now, I realize the country's on a health kick to some degree, but the Valley was once the Winchell's capital of the planet. There were so many out of shape people that the unofficial motto was the Midwest of the West. But there it was, out of business. Could the Valley be rejectcting deep-fried sugarfat after all these years? The horror.